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  1. How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

    How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 4 minutes · 10/18/2019

    Shared vulnerability can build more intimacy, mutuality, being seen and heard, empathy, or community. Inviting shared vulnerability means earning another’s trust that you can consistently offer attentive, curious, and compassionate listening. Here are four strategies to invite shared vulnerability.

  2. Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck

    Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 8/21/2019

    Some arguments stay stuck because each person thinks it's about the content of the argument, rather than the needs each person is attempting to protect. When the needs get attached to the strategies a "no way out" scenario gets created. Instead, fully step into one another's worlds and connect to the feelings and needs behind the strategy each party is putting forth. Read on for six elements to creating empathic connection.

  3. Standing in Your Truth and Setting Boundaries

    Standing in Your Truth and Setting Boundaries

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 8 - 12 minutes · 2/26/2020

    Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.

  4. How To Resource In The Expansive Perspective

    How To Resource In The Expansive Perspective

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 2 - 3 minutes · 5/8/2020

    In the face of stress you can find ways to be present for what’s happening, rather than being pulled or pushed around by anxious thoughts or fearful feelings. Here are some strategies to return to and maintain expanded awareness.

  5. Intimacy With Fear

    Intimacy With Fear

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 2/23/2021

    If we befriend our fear we cannot be paralyzed by it. Every fear that arises is a moment to increase our capacity. Fear is connected to something that is precious to us. We also can see what we do to numb our pain and how we try to avoid it. This knowledge can help us to choose healthier strategies to deal with our fears.

  6. Interrupt cycles of conflict by creating a new ways forward. You can do this by connecting with the energy of the met needs you want in the dynamic; guessing the other person's needs; naming your needs; asking essential questions; identifying at least three different strategies to meet each need; and imagining the positive outcome.

  7. Finding Worthiness and Belonging

    Finding Worthiness and Belonging

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 4/12/2021

    Worthlessness and shame are linked to the idea of not belonging or being unworthy of belonging -- that is, a deep sense of belonging to life, to your sense of self, and to our earth. Compensatory strategies to win worthiness and belonging arise from here and effectively block the very thing it is pursuing. Transformation occurs when there is a critical mass of clarity about the harm of a particular way of thinking and behaving.

  8. Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

    Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/29/2022

    For this exercise choose a situation in which you have said a “yes” to someone‛s request but you didn't experience your “yes” as given freely or joyfully. Then explore judgements, feelings, needs, and alternate strategies that come up in relation to your “yes”, your “no”, and in relation to what the other person might be experiencing.

  9. Working With Others' Mixed “Yes”

    Working With Others' Mixed “Yes”

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 3 minutes · 5/21/2024

    In this exercise choose a situation in which you got a “yes” to your request but you are not confident that it was agreed to freely or joyfully. Then explore your response to their “yes”, and possible unexpressed "no", with related observations, judgements, feelings, needs, requests, and alternate strategies that come up.

  10. Working With “No” To Deepen Self-Connection

    Working With “No” To Deepen Self-Connection

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/27/2022

    Use this exercise to stay in dialogue and connect to needs while facing a “no”. Identify a situation where you have low confidence that you'll get your needs met, and it'll be hard hearing a “no” to your request. Explore your response to the “no” by working with feelings, needs, request and alternate strategies. Thus you can work towards meeting your needs while also releasing the idea that your needs “have to” be met.

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