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NVC Resources on Judgment

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  1. Physical distancing is opportunity to creatively to meet your needs in new ways. In this containment, with very few cues from others and the environment you now have a rare opportunity with less external distraction to rethink what's truly supportive -- and make significant changes to the less noticable habits of mind, standards and "should's". Applying questions and noticing certain symptoms can support. Read on for more.

  2. Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/15/2021

    Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

  3. I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

    I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/7/2022

    Trainer Tip: We have a better chance of getting our needs met if we prioritize connecting with one another's needs more than being right. This way we can reduce the chances of conflict arising. We also increase the possibility we can find ways everyone’s needs can be met.

  4. Serenity As A Consciousness

    Serenity As A Consciousness

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/28/2022

    Trainer Tip: Even when you hit deep emotional bottoms, instead of deciding whether something is good or bad, get clear on how you feel about it and what needs it will or will not meet. Let the Universe do the rest. Then take action to resolve any situations that are not enjoyable to you.

  5. Enjoying The Process

    Enjoying The Process

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/15/2022

    Trainer Tip: Notice where you're judging or blaming people for not meeting your needs. Strive instead to notice and name the related feelings and needs longing to be met. Ask a question to check with the other person about what they want and need. This can open up the conversation towards mutually beneficial solutions.

  6. Protective Vs. Punitive Use Of Force

    Protective Vs. Punitive Use Of Force

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/14/2023

    Trainer Tip: Punitive use of force stems from a belief that people behave in certain ways because they're bad, and that they need to be punished to mend their ways. One way to punish is to judge them. In contrast, protective use of force stems from a desire to prevent injury or injustice. It focuses on protecting people’s rights and well-being, not judging their behavior.

  7. Focusing On What You Want

    Focusing On What You Want

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/10/2023

    Trainer Tip: It can be more productive and satisfying to focus on what we want than on what we don’t have or don’t like. What will help rectify the situation? What would you like someone to do now or next time? This can eliminate much of the emotional pain caused by berating yourself or others. The moment your focus is on what is wrong with your life or what's lacking, take a moment to shift it to what you want.

  8. Spiritual Practice in Troubled Times

    Spiritual Practice in Troubled Times

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/28/2023

    When your dedication to something is fueled by a profound intention to benefit all life, you may call it your spiritual practice. This means cultivating compassion, wisdom, and skills to notice what truly serves life. Its a discovery and experiment in what does and doesn't serve life, and what you can do now - its not about what you believe or not. Continuously inquire: "What most deeply serves life and how can I do that right now?"

  9. I See the Spirit in You

    I See the Spirit in You

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/26/23

    Trainer Tip: We can voice our upset about a situation and still see the higher self in the other person. Honest expression can deepen connection and bring us closer to resolution and connection, when we're not judging them. To know that they're a spiritual being, but think they're an insensitive slob or egotistical bore, is a contradiction. Instead, look for the needs they want to meet. See the spiritual being in everyone—even yourself.

  10. How Anger Can Help or Hinder

    How Anger Can Help or Hinder

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 9/25/2023

    We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication.

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