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NVC Resources on Judgment

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  1. A Brief Introduction to "The Work"

    A Brief Introduction to "The Work"

    Arnina Kashtan

    Video · 8 minutes · 09/05/2021

    In this brief introduction to The Work from Byron Katie, Arnina shows the connection of The Work to Nonviolent Communication. Arnina points out how the first two questions of The Work correspond to the observation step of the NVC process, and invites us into deeper self-inquiry.

  2. Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

    Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 12/23/2021

    In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment, from which next steps can arise.

  3. Working With Anger

    Working With Anger

    An Exercise

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 1/22/2022

    Fully connecting to the deeper need under the anger can transform and release the anger, without requiring the other person to do anything differently. From there, you can reach an understanding of the other person's experience, feelings and needs underlying the actions that stimulated your anger to re-establish connection with your own and the other person's humanity.

  4. About Privilege...

    About Privilege...

    Roxy Manning

    Articles · 8 - 12 minutes · 6/8/2022

    "Privilege" has many meanings, which can bring confusion. Here are questions essential to navigating challenges in NVC community about "privilege": How to call attention to times when language is used to divide and not connect? Where are people coming from when they say "privilege"? How to focus on using whatever language supports the depth of connection we seek with the heart of the people in front of us? Read on for more.

  5. Beyond "Evaluation"

    Beyond "Evaluation"

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 10 - 15 minutes · 09/20/2023

    The question “Is X an evaluation?” (where “X" represents whatever word is under discussion) has taken up some controversy in the NVC network. Often, context changes the meaning and assessment of words (eg. use of the term "domination" as in "You’re trying to dominate me!” vs. “domination societies”). Read on for several questions that can support understanding whether a term is evaluative, and reflect on the results it produces.

  6. Here are seven self inquiry questions. Half of them can help you assess your NVC consciousness. The other half can help you move from pain, fear, resistance, judgement, criticism, and shame – to love, compassion, understanding, appreciation, curiosity, and more.

  7. Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 8 - 10 minutesd · 7/29/2010

    NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.
  8. How to Handle Being Judged

    How to Handle Being Judged

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance)."

  9. Cause of Feelings

    Cause of Feelings

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Audio · 13 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Many of us blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe.

  10. The Power of Silent Empathy

    The Power of Silent Empathy

    Rita Herzog

    Articles · 1 page · 7/29/2010

    When Rita first learned about silent empathy she didn't know how soon she'd try it out. She was visiting her daughter and making comments about her life, analyzing her behavior, giving her unsolicited view on everything.

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