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Try this four step exercise for making connection requests to support understanding, and to learn what effect your words had on the listener. In this exercise you'll choose a situation where you have clarity about what outcome will really work for you (your solution request), but where you imagine your desired outcome may not work for the other person, and/or are not sure there is sufficient connection for mutual trust.

Rodger Sorrow introduces us to "Connection Time," a practice for you and a significant other to deepen, broaden and mend your relationship with each other.

Trainer Tip: Tap into feelings, needs and requests for greater self connection with the six steps in this worksheet.

One way of simplifying decision-making in relationships is clarity about the level of contact and connection you want with the people you interact with. This means knowing what you want and don’t want to share, the kinds of activities you do and don’t do together, how often, etc. This can help you chose how to best support your needs in that context, and help you to remember to set life-serving boundaries when you need them.

Ask the Trainer: My question is about wanting to empathize more with my husband. Sometimes we connect very deeply, other times he slips back into "jackal talk..."

By guessing our child's feelings and needs we open the door to understanding what's behind their behavior, and can better suggest solutions that meet both their and our own needs. In this way we build trust and their desire to seek us out in times of need. Expressing our own feelings and needs also allows us to help them understand the value in fulfilling tasks or requests.

Trainer Tip: We have a better chance of getting our needs met if we prioritize connecting with one another's needs more than being right. This way we can reduce the chances of conflict arising. We also increase the possibility we can find ways everyone’s needs can be met.

Jim Manske offers practices to stay in dialogue without defensiveness, especially when it's difficult. Listen to Jim discuss the refining of our commitment to connection and how to respond to others' defensiveness too.

Trainer Tip: We can expand our connection to humanity by considering the many strategies people use to meet our common needs.