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NVC Resources on Relationships

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  1. How to Set Boundaries Early and Often

    How to Set Boundaries Early and Often

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 5/14/2020

    Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.

  2. There are many layers of consciousness, knowledge, and skill that contribute to a successful negotiation. A successful negotiation is one where honor and connection lead to a way forward, and leads to a plan of action that considers and meets everyone's needs in that situation. Read on for three fundamental principles that help with successful needs-based negotiation.

  3. Being Yourself And Asking For What You Want

    Being Yourself And Asking For What You Want

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 7 - 11 minutes · 9/30/2021

    Let's look at the resources, awareness, and skills needed to ask for emotional attunement, celebration, relatedness, perspective, understanding, advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a heart connection with others.

  4. Somatic-Based Empathy

    Somatic-Based Empathy

    Eric Bowers

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/14/2021

    Use this interactive empathy exercise to track the relationship and shifting of body sensations, feelings and needs as you note them out loud.

  5. Finding Freedom In Marriage

    Finding Freedom In Marriage

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 10/30/2022

    Marriage can be seen as a limit on freedom. Ideas of compromise collude with this view. Instead, notice when your "yes" to your partner is laden with obligation, duty, guilt, fear, or an attempt to win love or approval, and how it's not a truly free "yes". True freedom is different from compulsion, and doesn't conflict with other needs. When have you experienced true freedom? What conditions support your access to freedom?

  6. The Challenge Of Connecting Dots

    The Challenge Of Connecting Dots

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 10 - 15 minutes · 1/20/2023

    The word "privilege" signifies the benefit to the person having it, and the relationship between that person’s benefit and others' lack of benefit. When privileged, there are incentives to not see this interdependent link. For instance, it's easier for the wealthy to think of the poverty of many and the wealth of some are unrelated. If the wealthy want to keep wealth they would need to continue with approaches rooted in this separation.

  7. Practicing With Anger

    Practicing With Anger

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 5 - 7 minutes · 6/13/2023

    Anger is neither good nor bad. When you don't foresee it or you haven't cultivated a relationship to anger, you may behave from it and hurt yourself and others. There are three reasons anger may rise: primitive anger, resistance, and lack of resources. For practicing with these last two types of anger, we'll look at four practices: cultivate awareness, pause and expand, self-care and planning, and allow grief.

  8. Loving Someone For Who They Are And Still Making Requests

    Loving Someone For Who They Are And Still Making Requests

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/22/2023

    If someone asks you to love them as is, try wondering what contributes to their need for acceptance. Loving someone and empathizing with them, doesn't mean you can't make requests for change. Recall that your requests are about your needs, not about them. Understand that requests may not be met due to lack of resources or skills, even if the desire is there. Clarify how important the request is to you and how negotiation can look.

  9. Power Over Strategies

    Power Over Strategies

    Eddie Zacapa

    Learning Tools · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/20/2023

    In Nonviolent Communication "power over" refers to the use of power to dominate or control others. It is a form of violence or force, whether physical, emotional, psychological or otherwise. This learning tool has six lists, each containing different types of power over strategies: physical, sexual, intimidation, economic, emotional, isolation.
  10. Making Your Empathy Guesses More Natural

    Making Your Empathy Guesses More Natural

    Mary Mackenzie

    Video · 3 minutes · 09/25/2023

    Join Mary Mackenzie, Certified NVC trainer, as she offers ways to incorporate NVC empathy guesses, feelings and needs into everyday conversations. This approach is geared towards adding deeper connection to the natural flow of conversations. The technique has become known as Street Giraffe.

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