
NVC Resources on Strategies
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Often, people don't help others when others are in danger, whether it is a parent who is abusing a child, a man who is battering his wife, someone sexually harassing another, a bully making fun of someone, or a person who is abusing a pet. However, intervening can save lives. And bring enrichment, peace, safety, care, and justice to the world.
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Total inclusion is impossible: inclusion of all can often lead to exclusion of those who can't bear the behaviors of some. Many groups flounder and disintegrate because of too much inclusion. Limited resources and capacities may make it necessary to exclude. Keeping more coherent shared values and strategies may be another reason to place membership conditions so that what appears to be exclusion may give movements a chance to expand.
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Trainer Tip: Do you sometimes feel lonely and disconnected from others? If so, look at how you may be participating in supporting that outcome and what you can do differently. For instance, if you want support or connection - but prioritize looking composed no matter how sad, hurt or angry you feel, you may shield yourself from authentically and vulnerably asking those things. Instead, make those requests.
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By guessing our child's feelings and needs we open the door to understanding what's behind their behavior, and can better suggest solutions that meet both their and our own needs. In this way we build trust and their desire to seek us out in times of need. Expressing our own feelings and needs also allows us to help them understand the value in fulfilling tasks or requests.
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Judgment is an attempt to protect from hopelessness or insecurity, at high cost. Instead, check in with fear, grief, or hurt. Then wonder what needs are at stake for everyone. This makes space for grief instead of anger, for negotiation rather than control, and for "calling in" rather than excluding. Wonder: “For whom would this be life-serving or not?”, “What strategies would care for all needs?” or, “What can I contribute now?”
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Roxy Manning emphasizes positive relationships in parenting, highlighting acceptance, understanding, and compromise. She stresses the importance of being aware of one's needs, attuning to the other person's needs, fostering trust, and encouraging open communication, especially with children. The approach involves a balance between meeting both sets of needs for a healthier dynamic.
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How can you remember to use the skills and consciousness of NVC in the heat of the moment?
Jim and Jori Manske will show you how in these recordings from their 2018 course!
They teach that when and how you address the conflicts that emerge in your everyday life matters! By slowing down and considering the state of your resources before engaging in a conflict, you increase the likelihood of discovering a solution that dissolves separateness and enhances the connection and compassion you long for.
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Would you like to learn how to:
- Use line and color to deeply connect with the feelings and needs that are alive for you ?
- Find a way forward that comes from your creative self ?
- Meet your creative self, even if you have never had the pleasure of meeting it before ?
Come join Olga Nguyen for Neuroart / Visual NVC– even if you have never drawn or painted before, and even if you are a professional in the midst of a creative block!
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CNVC Certified Trainer Jeff Brown explains that it's truly easy to begin bringing NVC to your workplace. Start internally and avoid using NVC as a structured or "right" way to speak.
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This article outlines a four-part transformation process to help us recognize what's giving rise to our suffering and resentment -- and transform it into more freedom, creativity, and choice.