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NVC Resources on Conflict

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  1. Giraffe Mourning

    Giraffe Mourning

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 2 - 4 minutes · 5/29/2023

    Often making an apology is not enough because people want greater depth of understanding and empathy. Instead of judging ourselves or feeling guilt we can "mourn" what we did that stirred up pain in others. This can bring about a sweet pain that leads to change. Then we can ask ourselves what we can do next time and make a commitment to do this and/or offer a regrets to the person expressing feelings and needs.

  2. Beyond "Evaluation"

    Beyond "Evaluation"

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 10 - 15 minutes · 09/20/2023

    The question “Is X an evaluation?” (where “X" represents whatever word is under discussion) has taken up some controversy in the NVC network. Often, context changes the meaning and assessment of words (eg. use of the term "domination" as in "You’re trying to dominate me!” vs. “domination societies”). Read on for several questions that can support understanding whether a term is evaluative, and reflect on the results it produces.

  3. Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

    Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 8/12/2023

    When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the question with a trusted person or in a journal. Read on for examples.

  4. You Ask too Many Questions!!

    You Ask too Many Questions!!

    Rachelle Lamb

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 2/1/2024

    Reveal what's in your heart before asking a question to help build trust, especially if you're in an authority figure. Otherwise, your question may sound like a demand, blame, trap, intrusion or accusation, and it may elicit a defensive response. If you get a "question" like that, give them empathy. Read on for reflection questions to see how our revealing and our withholding impacts our relationships with others and with ourselves.

  5. How to Navigate Holiday Conversations with Family

    How to Navigate Holiday Conversations with Family

    Oren Jay Sofer

    Practice Exercises · 6 - 9 minutes · 1/15/2024

    While we can’t control other’s behavior, we can choose how we show up. With forethought and care, we can approach interactions with more clarity, love, and skill. Read on for practices that include: Choose wise attention, ask better questions, practice deep listening, structure the conversation, know your limits, speak your truth, share your personal stories, be present and recall permanence.

  6. Join Itzel Hayward and Kathy Simon as they present two role-play scenarios showcasing diverse approaches to navigating difficult conversations. Throughout the demonstration, they underscore the significance of cultivating self-empathy and mindfulness to effectively engage in challenging dialogues. Specifically, they introduce a role-play scenario concerning affirmative action, aimed at illustrating the contrasting outcomes when utilizing or not utilizing nonviolent communication skills.

  7. Becoming Regenerative

    Becoming Regenerative

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 3 - 4 minutes · 1/29/2023

    The regeneration movement employs practices for healing our planet from damage, and boosting Earth sustainability. Environmental and social degradation is deeply connected -- as it comes from the same extractive, exploitive mindset of economic and related systems. Connecting with universal consciousness and needs underlying conflicts, we connect with commonality of all planetary life. This helps tap new abilities for working together. This can contain power to regenerate and heal ourselves and Earth.

  8. Colloquial NVC Options

    Colloquial NVC Options

    Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 5 - 8 minutes · 9/10/2024

    How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language.
  9. Confirmation and Feedback Requests

    Confirmation and Feedback Requests

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Video · 4 minutes · 11/27/2024

    Jim and Jori Manske share the wisdom of Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Join them to learn why knowing what you want before speaking is essential for clear, meaningful interactions. This snippet from their eight session course, 9 Skills for Navigating Conflict, explores how to make "confirmation requests" to ensure you're understood—whether you're navigating a tough conversation or simply ordering pizza!
  10. MLK, Nonviolence, and Communication

    MLK, Nonviolence, and Communication

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 9/9/2022

    “Nonviolence” is not just a political tactic. It is a “soul force,” a courageous and compassionate stand in the face of what seems to us unjustly unequal, oppressive, and violent. It is the force of love meeting and transforming what appears to not be love.. It is the force of love meeting and transforming what appears to not be love. It is speaking and listening with courage, compassion, and an open heart and mind and rooted in our truth in a way that bridges understanding. And doing so without demand nor trying to convince -- all in the face of any anger, fear, oppression, inequality, violence or disagreement.

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