
NVC Resources on Intention
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Roxy Manning discusses the distinction between group purpose and group agreements. Group purpose is identified as the reason for gathering, such as learning to facilitate groups with a focus on inclusion and contribution. Group agreements are the policies or intentions to support the purpose, like creating space for all voices or forming affinity groups to address identity-specific challenges. The emphasis is on how agreements facilitate the manifestation of the group's purpose.
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Our inner world shapes what we do, including the results we see in relationships and social change efforts. Physical and verbal actions are expressions of what’s happening in our minds. If we want certain outcomes, it helps to be mindful of the intentions we plant within ourselves.
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How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language.
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Listen to Jim and Jori Manske share how we are conditioned to disconnect from our own feelings and how we can unlearn this habit to experience more full and rich inner lives.
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In this brief audio segment, Miki works with a woman whose teenage daughter rejects her use of NVC, guiding her in a process of self-awareness and acceptance.
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The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection. The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc). Once we let the map drop away, we can engage with the people in our lives in a more heartfelt way. This article explains more about how we can use the map to remind us of our heartfelt consciousness...
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Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.
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This document is for organizations that want to integrate NVC. The intention is to use conflict as a stimulus to personal growth, more open and honest relationships, and life-affirming change. It mentions using NVC skills such as self connection, empathy, honesty, and requests (and protective use of force as last resort) to navigate the conflict with an intention of connection.
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Before entering a family gathering, set your intention to notice reactivity and make a plan for self-care when it comes up. It might also be helpful to imagine repetitive interactions and plan how you will respond; for example with a boundary, honest expression, empathy, or by taking a time-out for self-care. Remember your core values, intention, and how you are committed to showing up in the world.
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Miki will take you step-by-step through four vital systems that support radical collaboration and foster meaning. You’ll learn how to design a decision making process, create clear statements of intent, and create a process for resolving conflict.